i may or may not be watching the land before time
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
