i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
