so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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