I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I look better un-naked...
if i died would you start the facebook group?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
