just tell him i said nine months
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
