So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
