That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
