i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
How does one acquire holy water?
Pants are for mortals
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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