the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Found the puke drawer
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
