can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
