Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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