did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Randomize
