what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
