Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
