guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
