Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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