I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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