Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
