he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
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