put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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