he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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