he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
