OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize