i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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