how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
