Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
