I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Randomize
