Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
