So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize