Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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