Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
