At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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