Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
