Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
