I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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