i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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