call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
