i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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