Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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