did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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