I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
