I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
organizing the empties. That sober.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
