Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
