I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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