so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
