Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Panties = found
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
