You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
