I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
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