Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
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