so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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