I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
