I'm drive I can fine osifer
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
