I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
he wants to bone in the snuggie
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You need a sexual gate keeper
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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