Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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