i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
