Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Non-Jews are for practice
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
