if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Dear god my vagina.
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