Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
