well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
