how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
