she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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