when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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